rob3_16
04-08-2004, 12:58 PM
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I
clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "I'm sorry officer, I had it on cruise
control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the
passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car
doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks
over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for
once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your
radar
detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
clenched teeth,
"Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!"
The officer then says "and another thing sir when I was following
you I saw you using your mobile phone so I am afraid that that will be
a fixed fine of £50"
The driver says "I am terribly sorry officer but I had to take a quick
call from my mothers doctor and my hands free kit is in the phone shop being
repaired"
At which point his wife pipes up again " Dear you do tell fibs, mothers
absolutely fine and you always said that you would not be seen dead with one of those stupid bluetooth> devices stuck on your ear"
The officer frowns and starts to write out a third ticket for the
mobile phone offence, at which point the driver turns to his wife and says,
" For Gods sake you stupid woman shut UP!".
The officer frowns says, "And I also notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That 's an automatic £75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my licence
out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the fourth ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE F-K UP?!"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."
clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "I'm sorry officer, I had it on cruise
control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the
passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car
doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks
over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for
once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your
radar
detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
clenched teeth,
"Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!"
The officer then says "and another thing sir when I was following
you I saw you using your mobile phone so I am afraid that that will be
a fixed fine of £50"
The driver says "I am terribly sorry officer but I had to take a quick
call from my mothers doctor and my hands free kit is in the phone shop being
repaired"
At which point his wife pipes up again " Dear you do tell fibs, mothers
absolutely fine and you always said that you would not be seen dead with one of those stupid bluetooth> devices stuck on your ear"
The officer frowns and starts to write out a third ticket for the
mobile phone offence, at which point the driver turns to his wife and says,
" For Gods sake you stupid woman shut UP!".
The officer frowns says, "And I also notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That 's an automatic £75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my licence
out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the fourth ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE F-K UP?!"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."