So Cheesy It Hurts
Old 01-20-2006, 09:24 PM   #1
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Default So Cheesy It Hurts

Ok, here's some cheesy jokes that make me cry.

What is E.T. short for?
Because he only has wee legs!

What do you calla fish with 10 eyes?
Fiiiiiiiiiish!

What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra!

A man walks into a bakery with his pet fish and asks, "Do you sell fish cakes?" and the butcher shakes his head. "Oh no!" replies the man. "It's his birthday!"

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!

What happened to the stupid shoplifter?
He was found dead under Tesco!

What is the easiest job in the world?
Candlemaking. They only worl on wick ends!

What's our nation's greatest problem, ignorance or apathy?
I don't know and I don't care!

What is the main use of cowhide?
To hold cows together!

What's better than a talking dog?
A spelling bee!

Why do Eskimo's wash in tide?
Because it's too cold to wash out tide!

Why is a banana peel like a piano?
Because if you don't C sharp, You'll B flat!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick!

I've got some more that I can't remember...

Feel free to share some of your favourite/least favourite cheesy jokes!
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Old 01-21-2006, 01:01 AM   #2
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Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it.
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Old 01-21-2006, 05:07 AM   #3
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Brilliant! All of them absolutely brilliant!
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Old 01-21-2006, 12:56 PM   #4
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What did the mother buffalo say to her boy?
Bison!

Where did the little King keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!

Why did Snoop Dog need an unbrella?
Fo Drizzle!

What do you have on your patio that is Irish.
Paddy O'Furniture!

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop!

Why do cowboys ride horses?
Because they are too heavy to carry!

What do you feed an invisible cat?
Evaporated milk!

How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Rime to buy a new fence!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!

Why was the hen sitting on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet!

Why are horses rubbish dancers?
They have two left feet!

What award did the inventor of the door knocker win?
The No-Bell prize!

What do you do if you crush your foot?
Call a toe-truck!

Why are these jokes like a broken pencil?
They have no point!
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Old 01-22-2006, 05:12 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nasty Man
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
It took me so long to get this one when I was a lad. Good show.
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Old 01-23-2006, 03:59 AM   #6
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I liked the worm alot too. The cowboys gave me a little chuckle too.
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Old 01-23-2006, 03:22 PM   #7
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Quote:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

Why did Snoop Dog need an unbrella?
Fo Drizzle!
best of the bunch
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Old 01-23-2006, 04:49 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lupus
Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it.
lol
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Old 01-23-2006, 05:55 PM   #9
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Most of hem were hilarious! Good jokes dude!
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Old 01-24-2006, 09:09 PM   #10
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Thank you all kindly *bows*. Im avaliable for birthdays, christenings, funerals and Bar Mitzvas.
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Old 01-29-2006, 08:12 PM   #11
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I dont know what the heck is wrong with me....I didnt laugh at any joke here
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:34 PM   #12
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Thats probably because you have a good sense of humour
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Old 01-30-2006, 07:33 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nasty Man
Thats probably because you have a good sense of humour
I see
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